


how do you socialize

by luciole_etoile



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Horrortale, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universes, Demon Deals, Demon Summoning, Demons, Domestic Undertale, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Ghosts, Immortal Reader, Immortality, Lazy reader, Magic, Magic-Users, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you.", References to Depression, Rituals, Sirens, Summoning, Supernatural Elements, Undertale Alternate Universes, black magic, demiromantic reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 05:38:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11457108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciole_etoile/pseuds/luciole_etoile
Summary: Even if the planet exploded or if they were hit dead on by a nuclear bomb, they would survive, though their body would be a pile of ash. They’d be pulled back together, reformed piece by piece, each cell working fast and hard to recreate each system, one after another. Thinking of the pros and cons of immortality, especially this specific, impervious kind of immortality, you’d be hard pressed not to choose it. But really, think about the cons.Would you be the only person immortal? What about your friends? Would they die, growing old to eventually crumble into dust? What about your family? Are they immortal too?See, when you wish for immortality from a genie, you should really kind of think about these things. It’s a bit like making a deal or a contract with someone. Only thing is, in your case, it’s with a demon from the fifth circle desperately in need of something to snack on, and your soul is the only thing that seems to be around his tastes.Yeah. You haggled with a demon. What about it?





	how do you socialize

Imagine someone who could live infinitely, forever and beyond the date in which the earth expires. We all know humanity is basically the slow working mold that crawls all over the planet. But what if they were impervious to anything and everything? Even if the planet exploded or if they were hit dead on by a nuclear bomb, they would survive, though their body would be a pile of ash. They’d be pulled back together, reformed piece by piece, each cell working fast and hard to recreate each system, one after another. Thinking of the pros and cons of immortality, especially this specific, impervious kind of immortality, you’d be hard pressed not to choose it. But really, think about the cons.

Would you be the only person immortal? What about your friends? Would they die, growing old to eventually crumble into dust? What about your family? Are they immortal too?

See, when you wish for immortality from a genie, you should really kind of think about these things. It’s a bit like making a deal or a contract with someone. Only thing is, in your case, it’s with a demon from the fifth circle desperately in need of something to snack on, and your soul is the only thing that seems to be around his tastes.

Yeah. You haggled with a demon. What about it?

 

Luckily, you got away with your soul, though the demon dude kind of gets to eat a teeny tiny bit of it every seventh time you die. It’s either your soul, or you help them pay back their debt to a reaper, who won a some kind of competition at a bar and gets the souls that the demon eats. It’s a lot more complicated than it sounds, but all you have to do is just do demon rituals on Fridays and Saturdays. Hey, it’s better than what you were doing before-- lazing around and sleeping through the entire day, only waking up to shower and eat and do hygienic stuff before going back to sleep. You take care of this garden on the rooftops too, which has grown during all the years your apartment has stood with you living in it, your fellow inhabitants long since having left the apartment after you began to do the weekly rituals and such.

Well, you don’t blame ‘em. If you were still a fully normal person, you’d leave the apartment building that some dude does demon rituals in too. You apologize a lot for the noise and chaos, but even if you’re polite they still seem to try and attack you. Rumors spread over the years, you’re a rumored ghost now, and little kids come into your home on dares. You’re very friendly when it comes to people who want to rent a room, but when there are loud, littering, disrespectful teenagers hanging around, smoking up the room with your delicate vines nearby-- well, you can’t just let that happen.

Once, some of them tried to have intercourse in your room. Look, if there’s an abandoned bed and you’re horny, you don’t hop on and go for a ride. You go home and you do whatever it is people do when they need to relieve stress.

You weren’t very happy. Like, who even does that. Don’t do that? That’s bad. Really rude and kind of gross, too. Unless you’re into that. Ruining people’s stuff. You stepped in when it started going from kissing to shoving people’s hands up other people’s shirts and you realized that your bed sheets were gonna get messed up. Gross. Don’t need to know about your personal love life, dude. You’re supposed to be in a haunted building, what are you doing trying to have sex with your brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s friend. Bad.

Gosh, you’re so tired of people coming in here and just messing everything up. You’ve even put up signs and stuff to keep people out. Like, innocent, unknowing civilians? You very politely show them out, or at least shoo them away with the classic ‘You shouldn’t be here!’ act. Sometimes people drop off kids here. _Kids! Why are you putting small children in haunted apartment buildings where there is camera proof of rituals being done. Stop that._

Man, you’re kind of glad that you’re being turned into some kind of weird human-animal demon mix. At least then you’d be less similar to this entire damnable species. The demon guy was so desperate he was just like ‘Yo, do whatever, be whatever you want. I’m hungry as fuck and I don’t want to die. Save me.’ You felt kind of bad, y’know. So you were all like ‘Yeah dude, I can do that.’ And he was so thankful he got up and hugged you. Did you know that threatened with starvation, demons can die? It’s kind of funny. He made the weirdest faces.

Anyways, so you’re growing tiny li'l nubby horns now. It’s both interesting, itchy and kind of headache inducing, but you’re used to it. You can eat anything, too-- but unfortunately that means you want to eat everything. Grocery stores are like-- temptations everywhere. You want to eat the shelves. You did, once-- and your teeth were strong enough. It was crazy and funny. You’re gonna make money out of it once you actually muster up the energy to roll out of your crypt for once and go out somewhere. You can be the person who eats glass! It’ll be so cool. You’ll become famous. _Yeah!_

Right now, you’re tending to some sunflowers up on the rooftops. The day of the week is like Monday, and the demon dude has decided to throw himself across your super comfy bed that you bought immediately after getting enough money to in the form of a big ol’ fluffy black cat. You love to pet him. His purrs are like the softest chainsaw you’ve heard. Like, motorcycle level vibrations. It’s so cute.

The dude told you not to name him because he doesn’t want to be named, but you call him Joe anyways. Sometimes the name changes. It’s what’s keeping him from throwing a hissy fit. Many-Names is really lazy, like you, but he really loves cooking pasta. He makes some mean lasagna. You’re pretty sure he was an Italian chef in his past(a) life, and he probably cut up people to serve in his food. He said that you’d be getting a taste for humans too, because of what he did as a human and his sins and all that, (you weren’t listening well,) but that was okay because you rarely ever did see other people, and the teenagers who came in didn’t count as people because they were still wriggling larvae compared to adults.

You’re not really for the taste of teenage angst and dramatic poetry.

 

\--Oops, daydreamed while messing with the flowers again. Uhhh… Les'see here. Babylon is doing fine, the sunrise from the roof is pretty good. The sunflowers, little soldiers, all stand facing the sun, bathed in a weak golden light, make for a nice picture. The sky's different colors and shades of a vibrant blue, darkness melting and fading away to the bright ball of gas that provides the perfect heat lamp.

Oh hey. Were those strangely shaped silhouettes the monster folk who popped on out of the mountain like a week ago? What were they doing roaming around down here? It’s real gross. All the other apartments around you are like, rusted and crusty. Maybe some humans suggested that they go and check out this cool abandoned district. Maybe they’re just curious and stuff, having been under the mountain for so long. You’d do the same thing too, check out the first thing that the people in the town were gossiping about. It’s kind of weird to go and frolic over to some haunted place where some dead humans have gone, but whatever. Maybe they’re confident in their fighting skills. You saw a monster on a person’s phone a little few days ago, when someone had the terrible timing to walk in on a ritual. Or maybe it was you? Lucy told you not to keep mirrors around because they’re kind of bad for demons.

You’re getting off topic again. Jeez, how long have you been staring at them? There looks to be a little kid trailing after them, though they’re oddly kind of glowy. Like a lamp, or a little ghost outside of a dead body. Oho, these guys had a dead kid following them around? Spooky. The kid looked to smile at you before running after the other folks wandering about. They look to be talking to some kid who is their spitting image, only in a different color scheme. The kid turns around and they look right at you, though they-- zoinks, those are not eyes? It’s like their pupils expanded to cover their entire eyeball. Eh, whatever. It’s okay. They have a cute smile. Such polite little children, even if one of them seems like the type to kill people for fun. That was the kind of vibe people got off you when people still lived here, though. It’s a good thing you’re the apartment manager because you were all chummy with the other dude!

There’s loud pounding from downstairs. Whoo, you wonder who that could be. You didn’t really look closely at the monster part of the crowd, in favor of daydreaming, though you did catch that they were very oddly shaped-- skeletons, maybe. Revenants? Nah.

You take the stairs, holding onto the rail all the way down the three flights of stairs. You weren’t a fan of stairs, considering that you’ve tripped and had a great roller coaster down them many a times before. Once, as a kid, maybe five times as an apartment resident-- two of those times were after being pushed-- and two more times getting tripped up by your cat-- well, your demon. Did you mention how he was a huge dick sometimes? He was.

The paint on the railing is chipping off, you should go to Home Depot and buy a bucket for a new coat. But you really don’t like going outside. It’s lucky none of the railings have fallen down or off the wall. This place is slowly crumbling. There’s a hole in the second floor, leading to who-knows where. That might be the cat’s fault, though. He did something but he still won’t tell you what. You’re too lazy to go out and reap a five people-- two of which are in France and one of whom is in Slovakia. So much walking and tracking. No doubt, you could do it, but you’re not the type to stalk. You’d rather have someone else do it-- like a hitman. Damn it, why didn’t you think about that like forty-five years ago? You’ve been at work for Joe for so long you’ve completely abandoned creativity!

 

_BANG, BANG!_

 

You’re tempted to call out a ‘Coming, dearie!’ in a sixties housewife voice, but the thought makes you want to cackle. Instead, you decide to speed down the stairs a little faster, but then you miss a step in your hurry, and suddenly it’s that one time when you were seven all over again. The world is a blur, and you’re spinning and spinning and spinning forever, right when you reach the last turn. The door was right there!

You land at the bottom of the flight with a sickening crack. Whoops. It’s gonna be a literal pain fixing your neck. You try to move and only muster a garbled cry. There’s warm, slow, syrupy blood coming from your forehead. You must’ve hit it on the cement pretty hard. Again.

Man, how many times have you been down here? Y’know, lying face down in a steadily growing puddle of your own blood, unsettled and horrified onlookers staring in a stunned silence. There's a muffled gasp when the doors open and a low, ‘Don’t look, Frisk,’ before soft sobbing ensues. Aww, man. You felt bad for making the kid cry; but there was somebody standing next to you.

 **“Hey. How are you still alive?”** The ghost kid. It kind of hurts (less than a broken limb) that the kid is only interested in how you’re still alive and not if you’re doing okay. **  
** **  
** _“Magic.”_ You project your thoughts towards the chilly presence near your broken arm, and they snort before snickering a bit. They suddenly quiet after a while, as if someone had berated them. The other kid? Maybe they’re the ghost’s anchor or something. It would make sense.

The ghost shifts on their feet. Awkward little kid. How relatable-- oh hey, there go the monsters, making their way downtown, towards you and ghost kid. Zoinks Scoob, were you gonna be eaten? You’re pretty sure monsters don’t eat humans, but then again, most people were pretty sure _you_ didn’t eat human until you showed them. Oh shit, the little kid is running to you and they’re crouching by the ghostie’s side, shaking your dead body and telling you to get up. Oooh, that stings. You blabber out something without thinking.

“Hey, could you maybe not shake me as hard. It hurts.”


End file.
